Its been almost a year since I wrote my last blog …I had written a blog on 25th of february, 2007…During this one year’s time I was busy with my last sem exams…then came to Pune…Did a lil struggle to get a job offcampus. Got a very nice job…n finally, one of my dreams came true…I started workin as a software engineer…Everythin seems to be the way I wanted…but somewhere, deep down in the core of my being, I am unstatisifed…If I sit face to face with myself and ask a few questions…then I come across the same answers..Yes, this is not the destination, the level I am at….I want to move further…I want to fly higher…There are plenty of things I want to achieve…I want a new perspective on life! But… what and how ?? and why can’t I clearly figure things out??
Well…I keep on struggling with my strong emotions… but that’s of no use…I know I was never this much confused…Confusion…regardin what? My carrer?? No…its my life which always bugs me! Am I happy? Yes, if I’ll see it from the point of view of a career oriented girl…I don’t hav any reason to sound so dull…I am into a gud job…After a year or two, I’ll switch to some other company…higher salary…gud designation…I mean…everythin is fine…isn’t it?
Is this all for me?? No…I want much more than this from my life….and I don’t hav the option of sittin quiet and just hopin for everythin to be the way I always wanted…Life has to give me what I have longed for…but I don’t know when…this is somethin on which I don’t hav any control…This is what that makes me feel frustrated at times…Why can’t I decide for myself?? Why can’t I plan the order of how things happen in my life…
I know this won’t lead me anywhere…I will keep on annoyin myself by askin these questions….I know what do I want from life…but this helplessness will kill me someday…Sometimes I think I should stop thinkin…havin a complex mind just adds into increased complexity in life…Why not to think like a normal girl….why not to go through the same stages of life of a normal girl…Study…Job…Marriage…children… Simple…huh? Why do I hav a typical way of thinkin…why can’t I be like a normal girl…why do I need to be so matured…why?
Well…again…no answers…I know this time I don’t hav any answer to these questions….
January 23, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I think most of us face the similar questions provided we think! At this age we are standing at a position where we are being pulled in thousand directions!
January 28, 2008 at 6:22 am
yea
at this stage all of us are in the same state of mind….me included……